Saturday, December 22, 2007

Armenian wedding



December 22, 2007

Last Sunday, I saw my first Armenian wedding. Emma's daughter's son. Once again Emma and Susanne and other women in the family have spent hours and hours baking to prepare for the feast following the wedding. I did not attend the big dinner at a local restaurant that followed the wedding. I understand over 200 people came and it was quite the event. Here's the part I saw.

After a pre-ceremony activity at the bride's house, the party arrived in numerous cars and the ubiquitous limo at the main square. The old church bustled with activity. While a few of us were waiting for the wedding party (they were over an hour late), two weddings happened and I'm sure there were earlier ones. Once the cars arrived and family unfolded themselves, everyone trooped into the church. See pic. Little Armine had a special dress for the occasion. At least in this wedding, no bevy of bridesmaids accompanied the couple.

Little Albert and a little girl I didn't know preceded the bride and groom with candles.



The church is quite old and similar to European churches of a certain age had no seating.



You can see in the pics the sanctuary was smoky with incense, a big part Armenian Apostolic services.



Guests gathered on each side of a roped off aisle. The service was brief.





Towards the end, the bride and groom were given crowns

and as part of the ritual, bowed their heads toward each other til they touched. This symbolizes the couple of king and queen of the family and a new generation. The touching of the heads represents unity.





There is no kiss at the end of the ceremony. After, the guests go up to the nave and greet the bride and groom.


As they leave the church, they are each handed a dove. They have the two doves "kiss" and then release them.

That is Susanne (Armine's mom) holding the bride's bouquet for her.

After the church ceremony, everyone piles in the cars and drives around
the square 3 times, honking furiously.
Then, on to the groom's house. Typically, newlyweds live with the husband's family, sometimes for years. Before they enter the house, lavash is put on their shoulders (staff of life) and the groom's mother gives them a taste of honey (sweetness in their life). As they cross the threshhold, they each step on a plate (chasing the devil away). After some toasting at the groom's house, people change clothes and go the the restaurant. I'm now sorry I missed this part of the celebration as I left right after the wedding ceremony. Lesson: never say no to an opportunity for a cultural experience.

Meanwhile, schnor havor surb tsnund (Merry Christmas, lit:
congratulations on holy birth)

Friday, December 14, 2007

picture correction

Ok, the pics didn't upload to where they were supposed to. The first one on the left if the bedroom, then the living room. The kitchen is lower right.
Here's some pics of the new place:



kitchen bedroom living room

The people in the shot are the vols who helped make the job so easy.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

December 14

December 14, 2007

Didnt post the Dec 8 blog so thought I would add a bit. Pics will come later.
I moved in a couple of days early. It is a nice feeling, like being a grown up again. Last night I cooked dinner for a vol, then another dropped in later. It is so comforting to be able to ask anyone to visit me and to be able to have a drop in. Not to mention going to the bathroom with the door open. Little luxuries. Last night it snowed briskly for awhile. Around 9 pm, we heard loud noises and looked out the window which faces a little gathering area (basically a patch of dirt edged in concrete) . We saw a couple of dozen people, mostly young, some very young, taking advantage of the snow – snowmen, snowballs were the main elements of the fun. It felt very neighborhoody. More about the place w/ a few pics later.

December 8, 2007 – Today is Armine the granddaughter's birthday. Once again, the classic Armenian feast has occurred. As I write this, the living room is the scene of a huge table, over 20 people seated and eating. The table has room for about 20 with no extra space. As new people arrive, and there seems to be a constant flow, space is created, an extra chair is found, dirty plates are removed and clean ones added. Emma and Susanne (grandmother and Armine's mom) have each had about 10 minutes at the table, in two minute increments, spending most of their time seeing that new food finds a place on the table and old food and empty plates go away.

As is standard, the majority of the guests are adults. The only children are relatives. The habit of inviting friends to birthday parties does not seem to be an Armenian custom.

Susanne was up until 3 am this morning making a beautiful cake, complete w/ white swans and lovely blue icing flowers. I'm taking a break from the dinner. As soon as the men finish, all who smoke light up so I tend to excuse myself at that point. There is so much noise and confusion, I'm not missed.

One of the best illustrations of the Armenian's almost obsessive adherence to their own traditions is the celebration meal. It is always the same no matter whose house you visit. Dolma may be prepared a little better in one than another, but it is still dolma. Khorovats are still khorovats. The difference in the side dishes between winter and summer is that summer always includes tomatoes and cucumbers and in winter, the sides are grated beet salad w/ lots of onion and garlic and mayo and grated carrot salad made the same way. Its a reflection of what is available at the shooka. God forbid someone should decide to make some lasagna or a pot roast or do something with a potato other than fry or mash (in oil and with butter, respectively). No dark greens darken their tables. I've seen spinach a few times in the shooka. It has never appeared at a celebration dinner. While first farms are active here, I've been served fish once since I've been in Armenia.

This same scene with the same participants and the same food will be repeated continually during Nor Taree, their 6 day New Years celebration. As the women at my NGO explained, Armenian women cook for days and days preparing an even bigger feast than other celebrations. No expense is spared and people will go without food the rest of the winter to put on this elaborate show for relatives and friends. The women at the NGO describe this as a huge strain on them. I am sure you will never hear a complaint from the stay at home wives. Its a very 50s mentality in that sense. Many women here see no discrimination in the very strict role assignment here. That's just the way its supposed to be – its not discrimination.

The New Years Eve and New Years Day meals are for closest family, then over the next few days, they start rotating to each other's houses (first the older relatives host younger, then vice versa, same food, different locations,. And when I say same food, I mean same food. What isnt finished on day 1 sits in a cupboard overnight and is served on days 2-6 as long as it lasts. I am intriqued to find out how this works. Continuous traveling as well as continuous preparation and continuous serving and cleaning is required. So how do you travel and entertain at your table at the same time? I'll find out as I'm committed to go to Sveta's in Shahumyan for New Years Eve and the next day. If I don't spend the night, I'm sure I'll be stricken from the family bible. Then, when I get back to Gyumri, I'll have to drop in at Emmas and I'm sure there will be plenty of other invitations.

Tomorrow I move to my new apartment. I've been bringing a few bags over every day for the last couple of days and tomorrow the vols will come help me with the big move. Logistics are a challenge. I wish you could have seen me two days ago strugging w/ my wheelie bag, a bag on top of that one, a backpack and another bag on each shoulder, through 3" of newly fallen (and falling) snow, making the trek from Emma's to the new place. Here is something I learned: wheelie bags become snow scoops when the snow is fresh. Ditto when the snow has turned to slush.

Its interesting trying to get the hang new living quarters when you don't know how anything works. This apartment has "central heat" (not like we know it in the US). But there is no thermostat or easy method. There is some kind of water/gas/electric combo housed in a unit the directions for which were included but unfortunately in Russian. The owners have left for Russia and the woman next door speaks no English and is not sure how it works herself.

Because there is a water tank in the cellar that must be filled during the two or three hours a day when we get water from the city, there are an elaborate system of valves, some of which much be open when the pump is turned off and closed when it is on and another of which has to remain partially open at all times. I think I screwed it up this morning and opened when I should have closed and basically drained the water tank so there was no water when I wanted to take my first hot shower in Gyumri. I think I have now fixed it so tomorrow, when the water comes, it will go into instead of out of the tank. Of course there is no way to tell. I finally figured out how to start the radiators heating (from the same Russian-direction appliance that controls hot water as well as heat).

Just had to interrupt this narrative to rejoin the festivities for birthday cake and singing. I will try to upload a photo or two so you can see for yourself. My handy little camera takes mini movies. I'll turn the pics and movies into a CD for Robert, the father, when he rejoins the family next week. I'm sure he will want to see his little girl turning 10.

The need for heads of family to earn their livings outside Armenia is one of the tragedies of this country. The economic "recovery" touted in all the reports about Armenia really refers to a very small portion of the country, a few lucky individuals and quite a few profiteers. The rest struggle, from extremely primitive conditions in the villages to getting along with the help of remittances from abroad. I've heard as many as half of the Gyumri families depend on people outside the country for their support.

Keep your fingers crossed that I'll get my first hot shower in Gyumri in the next few days.

Now, I've finished editing the pics and showing them to the family. Its very satisfying to watch their smiles as they see their "kino".